BREAKING: Hillary And Chelsea Clinton Involved In Serious Boating Accident

The Clinton women were enjoying a day of boating on Lake Huron just off the coast of Port Weatherly, North Dakota when something went terribly wrong. The Coast Guard says the boatwent off course on its own and crashed into the rocks of a well-known reef, capsizing and throwing 11 people into the water.

It seems that nobody knew the Clintons were there or that they were involved in the accident until a resident at the ER in Piedmont recognized the former Secretary of State. Dr Alan D Cronin told Skip Tetheluda:

“The ER was locked down and the press was blacklisted. I don’t understand how you got here so fast. Anyway, the Clintons were both taken to the roof and airlifted to Chicago because her husband wanted her to get ‘quality care in a blue state.’”

Bill Clinton hasn’t been available for comment, but a spokesman said he is headed that way:

“President Clinton is going to his wife and daughters’ bedsides. Hopefully you idiots will wait until tomorrow to blame this on him somehow.”

The Clintons and their spokespeople have gotten snarkier over time.

Dr. Cronin says the women are both critical and that the next few hours will be touch and go.

We’ll keep you updated on this developing story.